Ol’ Milwaukee’s Best
Capo on 2
I lost my first wife to a woman
Lost my second to a man
Lost my third wife to my cousin
Lost my fifth wife to my aunt
I said you gotta train them girls
Like bulldogs, boys
If you want to keep them around
I got a case of old milwaukee
She won’t never let me down
I like to drink em with my friends around
Suck em back till i hit the ground
They’re here with me and
They’ll be here till the end
Well the wife and the kids and the dogs are gone
And i can’t get jesus on the phone
But old milwaukee’s best is my best friend
They say old milwaukee aint the best way
For the american boy to go
I got a dually pickup truck
I got ten miles of open road
My windshield is marked with gravel
And my rearview is streaked with tears
I got the pages of larry flint
To show me the honeys of the year
Repeat chorus
Oil prices are dropping now
And my third wife had enough of that
She ran off to the holy land with yassir arafat
He’s got thirteen girls in a harem
He’s got carpets and bags and beads
I got a 12-pack of old milwaukee
And i got one more trick up my sleeve
Repeat chorus
My daddy was a preacher
In church full of old outlaws
I’ve got about as much fear of satan
As i’ve got of santa claus
And i’ve read the revelations
I’m not worried in the least
I got three six-packs of old milwaukee
And the number of the beast
Repeat chorus